Wow. It has been a while since I have blogged. Here is what happened.
After receiving some criticism towards my blog, I deleted everything. I have grown from the experience and am ready to be back.
I have gained weight again. But, I'm did not gained all the weight back that I had lost. The last 7 months have been painful. Literally. I have what is called post herpetic neuralgia. Basically, I got shingles and while the shingles went away, the pain did not. It has been 7 months of pain.
Anyway, I learned about an amazing woman. She researches shame. Apparently what I have been experiencing is shame. Her name is Brene Brown. At first, I just saw quotes from her. After seeing her quoted over and over again, I finally looked her up. I read a sample of her book "The Gifts of Imperfection" and ordered it immediately. (You can order by clicking the picture below)
I am almost done with it. Usually I fly through books, but I have taken time to savor this one. There are times I have had to take a break for a day, so I can write and soul search. I ended up buying a second copy that I can lend out. My Mom has it right now. My copy is dog eared. It has turned into a journal.
Here is an awesome quote from her book.
"Twinkle lights are the perfect metaphor for joy. Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments-often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the burst of joy because we're too busy chasing down extraordinary moments. Other times we're so afraid of the dark that we don't dare let ourselves enjoy the light.
A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy. That would eventually become unbearable.
I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude, inspiration, and faith." (Brene Brown pg 80-81 "The Gifts of Imperfection")